WELCOME TO CUBA #1 of 4- LAST COMMUNIST STANDING (ALMOST)

Humans crawl through the ashes of a forgotten world, living in the ruins and going about their business as if nothing had even happened. What did happen anyway? Who knows? Who built the original structures, magnificent and pretentious at one and the same time, the stuff of dreams and the stuff of nightmares? Official government history says it was an evil empire, bent on domination. They sucked human blood for sustenance and reduced the populace to slavery to sustain their extravagant lifestyles. Other legends say no, that it was a time of plenty and opportunity was open to all, only limited by your time and imagination… and faith. If you believe in an expanding universe, then that universe will expand, and so will the economy, getting bigger and better continually. Belief is crucial. Once you stop believing, then the castles crumble. Sound like science fiction? Welcome to Cuba.

If you’ve never been to a Communist country, you should go. But hurry; they’re a dying breed. There’s nothing like it, the cold gray architecture, the suspicious glances, and the general lack of… anything. The hard part is timing. You want to see the “real thing”, i.e. real Soviet/Bolshevik-style communism, but you don’t want to suffer (too much) from lack of facilities. You want to see them on the cusp of their coming out. Frankly I was surprised- even shocked- to see Cuba in the backward state it’s in. We’ve all seen the pictures and heard the stories of the old 50’s cars, like stepping right into a Hollywood movie, but experiencing it is another thing. It’s a trip, pure time travel. Hey, they’ve even got horse-drawn carts here, and not just for tourists. Cuba’s been getting travel press for so long now that I assumed that the time-warp was all long past. It’s not. Cuba is crawling into the future on all fours, and I don’t think anything Obama has to say will change that any time soon. Tourism is way up for sure, but that’s all out at Varadero, destination of almost half the tourists flying in, most of whom will get only a day tour of the “real thing.”

When I check the Lonely Planet web site before visiting a place, then actually go there, sometimes I wonder if we’re talking about the same place. Maybe their local experts have little experience elsewhere so are without a point of reference. Regardless, LP talks about the ‘increasing congestion’ of Havana traffic. That’s a joke. This is like Communist SE Asia c.1995, maybe Phnom Penh or Vientiane, vacant streets and people camping in the ruins. That’s all changed there now. Laos is almost a little mini-Thailand now, and Phnom Penh is re-inventing itself (with Chinese help) as fast as it can. To be honest, so is Cuba, but oh so painfully slow. My first feeling is one of shock, then sadness. Then as I slowly readjust my point of reference to the reality here rather than the reality I come from, my mood starts improving. There IS life here, and lots of it, however subdued and tentative.

And then there are the underlying economics for me as a traveler. You have to book a hotel first for them to even let you in, so that’s not so expensive, but hardly indicative. When I first walked the streets looking at prices for street grub, I was shocked. Then I realized those were prices in local currency (mn), not the convertible currency (cuc) I was holding. Judging by price differentials for similar items I figured one cuc must be worth about six or seven mn. It’s actually twenty-four. At first I thought they might not sell the local stuff to me, but no problem. Shit’s dirt cheap here, at least street food. How about a glass of fresh fruit or sugar cane juice for… better sit down… a nickel? I haven’t seen prices like this since the late seventies. You remember that kid making smoothies for a quarter down on the strip in Puerto Escondido, right? He’s probably the president of Jumex now, what with his experience and all.

How about a sandwich here for a quarter, or maybe your own personal pizza? Sound good? The pizza is no great shakes of course. Nobody in Napoli is going to roll over in his grave but hey, it’s fresh pan caliente. That’s worth plenty. The trick is that you gotta’ get the local currency, or otherwise you’re de facto segregated from the populace by currency and cuisine. Some things only come in cuc of course, like filete Cubano of something or other. Prices in cuc are usually not bad either, just not dirt cheap, and mostly limited to the tourist places, and grocery stores. How about Uruguayan steak for $6? I don’t remember it that cheap in Uruguay, not that I spent any time looking. Harder to find is good espresso, notwithstanding all the little jiggers of café Cubano being sold on the streets, but the street stuff is sweeter and not fresh pressed, though still not bad for a nickel a swallow. I’ve found it as cheap as a penny. I also found a couple places with good espresso and nothing illustrates the pricing dilemma better. One charges one mn, the other one cuc, a nickel or a buck, take your pick. I’d be willing to bet some tourists don’t know the difference and happily lay down the buck instead of the nickel at the mn place, not even knowing the difference.

Still there can be money problems for the independent traveler. For one thing, your ATM card won’t work, or at least mine won’t, though a European one might. My Thai card doesn’t work either. European credit cards are supposed to work, but that’s good only if you can find places that accept them, not likely budget accommodation, certainly not private houses. If I stay the full three weeks I booked this could be problematic. I think I have enough Euros, but it could be tight. I better change an AmEx traveler’s cheque just to make sure I’m covered. Cambios won’t take them but a bank should. They don’t, but send me to some place that should. They don’t, but gave me a list of locations of the bank that does. Being my first day in town, none of these locations looks familiar, so I decide to put it on hold, being something I shouldn’t really need anyway. This is not a problem limited to Cuba either, for that matter. Fortunately I have no problem with money, just cash. Even in thoroughly modern Argentina, many ATM’s only give the equivalent of $100 US. That doesn’t last long. Fortunately I’m carrying traveler’s cheques for the first time in a decade, so the only problem is finding the bank that cashes them.

I decide to take a long walk to find the bus station and accidentally find one of the bank branches I’m looking for. With minimum hassle they indeed cash me one, so that little spot of bother should be mitigated. There’s only one problem remaining- Internet (sound of needle scratching long and hard against an old vinyl LP). The hotel I’m staying in has no wi-fi and charges $6-7 PER HOUR to use the rental box downstairs. They all do. This apparently is the standard, and gringos queue up for the privilege. It’s barbaric, not a cyber café to be had on the streets. What do the locals do? I’m moving to a casa particular to save a few bucks, but it looks like any savings will quickly get squandered in Internet charges, if I stay, that is. I doubt that Cubana de Aviacion will let me change the date of my return will such a cheap flight, but that doesn’t mean I can’t buy another one-way. I can hardly travel without Internet now, booking for the next stop a few days in advance. Otherwise I might get stuck with no place to stay or only at an outrageous price, with no useable credit card even. Usually I don’t worry about such things. In the high season in the Caribbean I do, especially here. Chill, Hardie, chill.

I don’t mind paying a few bucks extra for a place with Internet, but that’s per day, not per hour! Cuba is in the dark ages with respect to Internet, not a wi-fi signal anywhere. Other ‘Communist’ countries are replete with them. Other commodities are similarly lacking. What passes for groceries here is pretty pathetic. Ever bought a box of cookies from a jewelry showcase? Fortunately the street is ahead of the shops. They learn capitalism from the ground up, flea enterprise, buy two sell one buy two more ad infintum until rich. Bamako in Mali is no different. That’s the difference between Marxism and village Communism. The main breakthrough here is with food. Half the city walks around with a sandwich in hand in the mornings and a pizza in the afternoon, all sold from tiny home-based outlets and restaurants selling on the streets as well as inside to compete. Now that’s my kind of communism.

Everything is weighed and measured here, from bread to espresso, or at least advertised as such, one of the lasting legacies of communism apparently. I saw the same thing in Romania only a few years ago. Business is swift and the lines are usually orderly. The legend of Commie queues always emphasized the shortages, not the orderliness. That’s like talking about suicide bombers and focusing only on the bombs, never the suicide. There are no plastic bags though, or only available for sale in markets, never just handed out. My great point of pride is that I intuited this, and brought along my growing plastic bag collection rather than trash it, as I caught myself almost doing. Thus Communism has common cause with environmentalism. They act like they have common cause with Palestine, but obviously that’s only a case ‘the enemy of my enemy is my friend.’ Remember Soviet Afghanistan.